…or maybe I’m just lame.
A lot of things have been eluding me lately. Total head-scratchers. Maybe you can help explain them to me… or maybe I’m just lame.
Why is this a good idea? (From http://www.flickr.com/photos/somethingshidinginhere/)
1. MUSTACHES???? Really??? Why is a fake mustache the latest fashion and party trend? Mustache-themed weddings, mustache parties, mustache jewelry, mustache hair pins, mustache hand towels… How has creepily tweaked facial hair become its own must-have party theme? When did it become a good idea to resemble the Pringles dude? I don’t get it. Holding a mask up to your face is one thing — still rather creepy, but not a gender-identified follicular occurrence. It might even annoy me more than the “Keep Calm & Carry On” craze.
2. Vampires. I don’t get it.
3. How to respond to not-quite-compliments on my appearance. Or on anything, really. For example: yesterday, I wore a batik-patterned maxi dress for the first day of teaching, coupled with a jean jacket and leather strappy flat sandals. It was sunny, mid-70s… it felt appropriate. A colleague saw me and exclaimed, “Wow, you look so summery!” Instinctively, I felt like I should respond, “Thank you,” but I immediately realized that it wasn’t exactly a compliment. It was merely her opinion about how I physically appeared. So, how do you respond to that? “Umm… yes, it’s a light-weight cotton ensemble, so I suppose that qualifies as ’summery.’ You are accurate in your seasonal assessment of my attire.” I don’t know. I’m sure this lame example illustrates my social awkwardness (which actually stretches WELL beyond “you look summery”), but… I just have ZERO CLUE what an appropriate, non-awkward reaction to such a comment would be. I ended up just smiling and mumbling something completely incoherent like, “Than–shmehshmehshmeh.” And then another colleague came bounding down the stairs, saving me from further social awkwardness, so I freakishly waved goodbye and promptly left the scene of the crime. I just don’t get it.
4. “Obama = Hitler” posters adorning the sidewalks in front of my university, along with a poster of Obama’s face stamped with a Hitler mustache. (Again with the freakin’ mustaches!) Since when did a black, democratic president who wants HEALTH CARE FOR ALL become the symbol of an anti-semitic, homophobic, generally hateful man who led a mass genocide?!? Seriously, What the F is wrong with people?!? And why are the “Obama = Hitler” supporters the ones with the most firearms?!? And why must they wield them at town hall meetings about HEALTH CARE??? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!? Fortunately, just past the “Obama = Hitler” protesters, there were some dudes dancing around and singing “Obama’s not Hitler! Obama’s not Hitler! Give me five if you like Obama!” And a ton of people did. In fact, I gave him ten.
The degging: If Paris is doing it, you probably shouldn't. (From http://www.denimology.co.uk/)
5. Leggings are not pants; rather, they represent an unfortunate extension of the hosiery family. I realize that the current denim-legging (degging?) hybrid adds a slightly complicated element to the mix. Apparently “skinny jeans” weren’t enough, and now fashion designers want to make it look like females’ legs were painted and distressed. But think of it this way: if I can see your legging-shrouded bum and/or, more grotesquely, the outline of your freakin’underpants, you’re probably making me and the general public gag and lose our collective appetites. I would rather not have visual confirmation of the wedge you need to pick. Yeah, I’m talking to YOU, you three like-minded leggings-with-crop-top-wearing students in my writing seminar yesterday.
6. Levi Johnston, why are you on my TV and on my interwebs? As far as I can tell, your sole talent resides in shooting things: semen into a flighty former Alaskan governor’s daughter and, of course, animals. I saw your interview with Larry King, which really only further proved that you are a strong supporter of the monosyllable (preferentially “yep” and “nope”). Oh, and a lot of grunts, which I’m assuming are your solution to the “awkward silence.” And that’s fine. You’re a camo-loving, gun-toting Alaskan hunter, and you’re proud of it. So why are you suddenly on red carpets with Kathy Griffin? Why are you threatening to “write” a book? Just stop it. Go shoot defenseless sheep or something. (No, seriously, he shoots sheep. Sheep being all feral and over populating the earth and everything.)
29? (From http://cdn.picapp.com/ftp/Images)
7. There is no effing way that Kim Zolciak was only 29 when she filmed the first season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. NO. EFFING. WAY. I mean, right? And I’m not just doubtful because that would mean I’m older than she is, I swear. Oh, and P.S.) In the sentence “They are going sightseeing,” “sightseeing” is NOT a verb. And P.S.S.) “Tardy for the Party” is seriously one of the Top 10 Dance Singles on iTunes?!? How many synthesizers did it take to drown out the fact that she’s tone-deaf?!? And is Nene singing background? Shouldn’t she get most of the credit for “writing” that song? (and I use the term “credit” very loosely).
8. Chalkboard paint. At first, I thought it marked a genius solution to kids slapping crayon all over the walls. But now, not unlike the mustache and Keep Calm crazes, it’s become a bit much.
Case in point:
Yes, that’s a chalkboard-painted car.
How I celebrate MLK Day.
artin Luther King, Jr., probably didn’t think that his monumental, historic fight for civil liberties would result in a holiday that spawns huge clothing sales and a free day for students to go gorge on buttery popcorn and Sour Patch Kids at the local multiplex.
Kevin Mazur/Courtesy of HBO via image.net
This year is, of course, a hallmark year for MLK, Jr., appreciation. One word: inauguration. I’m so ridiculously ecstatic that Americans have chosen to reinstate intelligence (among other positive — and greatly missed — qualities) in the White House. Obama represents progress, hope, change… the list goes on. And it’s wonderful to feel that energy and see it displayed across the country through the various celebrations, posters, etc.. But… I don’t know… something about the several-day-long inauguration celebrations seem a bit, kind of, overkill? Not that I don’t think President-Elect Obama (or America) deserves it — of course he/we do/es. But… I don’t know… considering the financial/economic state of the union right now, it strikes me as a bit bizarre to hear of all the lavish parties and top-notch concerts and opulent balls. Celebrities have invaded Washington, and suddenly the presidential inauguration has become a pop culture phenomenon, the hot ticket, the “it” place to be. I mean, socialite-infested inauguration parties probably offer swag and are sponsored by Nintendo Wii or Ugg or something. I don’t know. Something about it kind of makes me cringe. I’m excited about Inauguration Day tomorrow, of course. OF COURSE. But… I just feel as though it’s all become rather circus-like (Britney?). Thousand-dollar tickets, people trying to make a buck (or a few thousand) off of it… How disconcerting when one of the brightest moments of our/our nation’s life gets transformed into a Super Bowl before our very eyes. A Super Bowl with an endless supply of halftime shows.
Anyway.
I’ve been occasionally checking in with CNN and various Twitter birds so that I can be sure not to miss any all-important updates. But, other than that, here’s how I’ve spent my MLK, Jr., Day off from teaching:
1. I ate Grape Nuts
2. I checked my kitchen ceiling, which began leaking last night when my upstairs neighbor drew a bath. I was on the phone with a dear friend when, suddenly, I heard what sounded like water sloshing down through my kitchen walls. I was pretty sure the Deluge was coming. But it hasn’t come. Yet.
3. I read the latest issue of Time and felt conflicted about Pope Benedict XVI’s comment about Jesus and putting patches on an old suit.
4. I greeted Maintenance Man, who came in to investigate aforementioned leaky ceiling. Maintenance Man’s investigation involved: a. me directing him to leaky culprit, b. Maintenance Man looking directly at leaky culprit, c. Maintenance Man deciding to go knock on upstair neighbor’s door to check out her leaky pipes (Perv.), d. Maintenance Man driving away.
5. I chatted online with another dear friend. For, like, 45 minutes.
6. I watched some cheese-infested Lifetime movie about a bad girl-of-divorce-gone-good (standard plot of 98.7% of Lifetime movies) while filling up some pages of my Creative Journal, which felt lovely.
7. I watched as a dude in a truck snowplowed our driveway, and then proceeded right on through to our backyard and plowed the grass? No clue.
8. I took pictures of Nor’easter loveliness. And plowed backyard.
9. I ate leftover pizza. I actually reheated it in the oven rather than in the microwave. I am becoming more and more domestic. I make me proud.
10. I looked back (several times) at pictures of my baby niece and nephew and, more specifically, me feeding baby nephew and wanting to run away with him. It could have been so easy! Sh*t.
Another Listless Monday:
Overheard while grading papers in… Panera Bread #1058
reetings from Panera Bread store #1058!
OK, I just totally made up that store #. I guess I feel like the inclusion of a store # somehow grants my “Overheard” stories more legitimacy or something. Also, the mention of a store # propels me DeLorean-flux-capacitor-style back to the summer I spent living off of cereal and entering data from mystery shopper visits for roughly 2 pennies an hour (give or take), courtesy of Temp Agency Craptacular (TAC), Ohio. 
Actually, I still pretty much live off of cereal. It’s become a kind of religion, really. But, for all I know, my devotion to all things frosted and mini and wheaty just may have begun that great Mystery Shopper Summer of 2001. How can we possibly know the origin of such things? I mean, no matter how big things bang — whether from the heavens or from Stephen freakin’ Hawking — they’re still just educated guesses, right?
But I digress. I have some serious eavesdropping to tell you about, for crying out loud!
So yeah, I’ve spent the past 4 hours here in the local Panera (#1058) establishment, perched at a 2-person table with my laptop, poring over student essays that take a ridiculous (and what should be totally illegal) amount of time to comment upon and grade. Because of the mind-numbing nature of the activity, occasional pauses prove crucial so as not to lapse into severe catatonic state (semi-severe catatonic state, on the other hand, is entirely acceptable, and even sometimes fun). My “occasional pauses” generally involve Mountain Dew refills and trips to grab more napkins, which will inadequately serve as makeshift Kleenex because, for some reason, my body temperature prefers to remain in the subarctic range and my blood likes to stage frequent coups against flowing freely. It happens. Blood can be a real b*tch sometimes. Anyway, my occasional pauses have also granted me admission to several entertaining conversations taking place within earshot. And, (un)fortunately for me — and, now, for you! — “within earshot” equates to about 8 different tables. SCORE!
Within 4 hours’ time, though, the rotation taking place among those 8 tables ultimately equals some crazy-@ss permutation of patrons and conversation topics that range from sexually inquisitive fifth-graders to an abnormally loud sexagenarian conversing with herself (and, unbeknownst to her, the entire patron population of store #1058) about the mysterious identity of another Panera patron at a neighboring table. Yeah… not at all awkward. Stomach ache.
Oh, sometimes I just say “stomach ache” in reference to embarrassing, awkward situations that cause me to have sympathy pains for whomever I am embarrassed for. Whoa. Did I seriously just write “for whomever I am embarrassed for”??? ISSUES.
Anyway. I had a total stomach ache for that sexagenarian. And for the mystery dude she was rambling about for a solid 15 minutes, who patiently sat with his family and pretended not to pay attention to the fact that an elderly woman was verbally stalking him from 2 feet away:
“Did I run into him at the library? Or maybe he works at the hospital. Or it’s possible he was in line with me at the post office. Or maybe we had a hot ‘n steamy love affair in a past life, but he was a really awful tipper.”
OK, I made up that last one. But hey, a reincarnation-prostitution link seems equally as likely as the other options, don’t you think?
Then, for about 35 of my 240 Panera minutes, I had the pleasure of deciphering the political viewpoints of a trio of Frenchies seated to my right. I love eavesdropping on francophones in America… mostly because I know how I acted as an anglophone in France, and how sometimes — just sometimes — I wrongly assumed that no one around me could understand English, so I’d naively divulge some utterly embarrassing and/or personal piece of information. 
Or, worse, I’d make some sarcastic, smart-@ss comment about a certain odor being emitted from the dude violating pressed up against me in the metro. And then he’d turn to me and be like, “F*ck you,” in English. And then I’d be all, “Oh sh*t — no, no — I didn’t mean YOU, I meant–,” but he was already gone. Stomach ache. Anyway, so I like the She-Raesque power that I possess as a bilingual eavesdropper, ready to lay the smack-down on anyone who so much as HINTS at a negative comment toward me or anyone around me. Though, the truth of the matter is that I’m a non-confrontational wuss that would NEVER have even a paltry fraction of the balls the metro dude had when he called me out and made me feel like A. And I mean metaphorical balls, just to clarify. I don’t have literal ball envy, just to clarify. Where was I?
Yeah, so this French trio was heatedly discussing Obama and “le bonheur” (happiness) and closed-minded pricks and all that good stuff. At certain points of the conversation, I had the distinct impression that Française 1 (the lead Frenchwoman of the threesome, which consisted of one dude, two women) felt that le bonheur and Obama supporters are mutually exclusive. I could be wrong. Regardless, I despise talk of le bonheur as the ultimate end to justify the means. Or just as the ultimate end in general. The pursuit of happiness and all that kind of stuff. I mean, what does that even MEAN? “The pursuit of happiness.” Pff. As if some box-’o-happiness sits there, mocking us humans at some super top-secret, undisclosed locale, and we each have “Amazing Race”-style clues that may help or hinder us in our trek. Whatever. Also, what if I’m in the pursuit of UNhappiness, huh? because it definitely seems that way more often than not. So what does THAT mean? that I’m not exercising one of my inalienable rights? or that I’m just an alien? On second thought, don’t answer that.
Maybe I should have saved this for Tuesday’s “Random Thoughts” post. Cr@p. Oh well.
OK, one more overheard conversation. And I promise you: this one’s a doozy. So, toward the end of my 240 Panera minutes, 2 adorable little fifth-graders tumbled into the booth in front of me. I know that they were fifth-graders because they couldn’t help themselves from inserting “fifth grade” into just about every other sentence/question. Proof:
1. “Are you gonna go to our fifth-grade dance?”
2. “How will you wear your hair?”
3. “What fifth-grade boys are you going to dance with?”
But that’s not the “doozy” part. Here’s the “doozy” part: suddenly, Girl A launched into an enthusiastic description of a heated, verbal fight that had occurred among four of their fifth-grade friends the other weekend. Girl A couldn’t seem to contain herself with the back-and-forth, hilarious zingers that her friends pelted one another with. Girls A and B then proceeded to laugh and laugh and laugh (and so did I, albeit nonverbally). Once the laughs abated, Girl B understandably entered Skeptic Land and demanded the authenticity of this information. 
Truth be told, I was wondering the exact same thing — Girl A seemed oddly omniscient and an unsettlingly skilled storyteller/fabricator from my vantage point. But Girl A was quick to state that their friend Maggie was the all-knowing source of all this priceless information: as it turns out, Maggie was at the scene of the fight-crime with her girlfriend Abby, “because Maggie’s a bisexual,” she nonchalantly added, as though bisexual fifth-graders are just as common as gossipy fifth-graders. By the time I had digested this fascinating piece of information (Maggie and Abby — who knew?!), Girls A and B had already begun dissecting the outcome of the fight and who was still friends with whom among the four fifth-grade hellions.
AWESOME.
I love Love LOVE that fifth-graders find bisexuality as common as gossip. Isn’t that one of the best “doozies” you’ve heard of in a very long time?!? You’re welcome.
I am so thankful for generationally increasing acceptance and openmindedness.
Hey, everyday is Thanksgiving, right?
It’s not often that I’m at a loss for (written) words, but…
…I am today. So I thought I would, instead, allow the following images to display my pride, joy, and hopefulness — feelings that I know are generously enacting upon the vast majority of Americans (and the world) on this lovely and historic post-election day.
First image: Lisa Congdon
Second: Keri Smith
Third: My personal photo album. Kidding. Babble.com
The election is coming…maybe I should suspend my blog.
eah, right.
But here are some funny/inspiring images regarding the election-in-less-than-a-week (!!!) that I just can’t seem to get enough of. And I just ended a sentence with a preposition. Cr@p. See what this election is doing to me?!?
UnitedChange, by Shawn Hazen
Rock the Vote, by Shepard Fairey
http://www.yeehawindustries.com
YesWeCarve.com (hee hee)
Decent Arab. Oxymoron?
t’s been all over the news already and referenced by political analysts and late night talk show hosts alike: at a recent campaign rally for the Republican Presidential nominee, a white-haired McPalinist woman by the name of Gayle Quinnell proclaimed, “He’s an Arab,” in reference to Democratic Presidential nominee, Barack Obama. McCain swiftly stole back the microphone and corrected Quinnell in an unmistakably flustered (and stuttered) fashion:“No, ma’am,” McCain stated. “He’s a decent family man –citizen– that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues. And that’s what this campaign is all about. He’s not. Thank you.” (You can watch the video of the exchange HERE)
Now, that’s all well and good, and there’s little doubt that McMuppet really did possess genuine, good intentions and truly does consider Obama a “decent family man –citizen,” but… umm… well… I suppose I just wasn’t aware that being a “decent family man –citizen” and being an Arab were mutually exclusive? I guess I’m just ill-informed.
But you know what else I found out, from one of my very dearest, most cherished friends, who just so happens to be an Arab? He was ill-informed, too!!!! He didn’t know that “decent Arab” was an oxymoron! We’re so naive and sheltered. I guess we’ve been studying at the wrong university. And I guess my friend grew up in a pseudo-Arab culture or something. Sucks to be us. I wonder if Gayle Quinnell offers online courses in cultural awareness? I’ll have to look into it.
Anyway, it’s just completely frustrating and infuriating to witness such a blatant lack of regard for any individual (let alone an entire ethnic group) that does not subscribe to the stereotypically WASPy notions of “decency.”
Fortunately, we have CNN journalist Campbell Brown (host of CNN’s “Campbell Brown: Election Center”), who did not shrink back from addressing the ignorance (and racism) and the hatred fueled by such careless comments as the one uttered by McCain at his rally, nor did she mince words when acknowledging the media’s guilt as well. Brown states:
Now, I commend Sen. McCain for correcting that woman, for setting the record straight. But I do have one question — so what if he was? So what if Obama was Arab or Muslim? So what if John McCain was Arab or Muslim? Would it matter?
When did that become a disqualifier for higher office in our country? When did Arab and Muslim become dirty words? The equivalent of dishonorable or radical? Whenever this gets raised, the implication is that there is something wrong with being an Arab-American or a Muslim. And the media is complicit here, too.
We’ve all been too quick to accept the idea that calling someone Muslim is a slur.
I feel like I am stating the obvious here, but apparently it needs to be said: There is a difference between radical Muslims who support jihad against America and Muslims who want to practice their religion freely and have normal lives like anyone else.
We can’t tolerate this ignorance — not in the media, not on the campaign trail.
Of course, he’s not an Arab. Of course, he’s not a Muslim. But honestly, it shouldn’t matter. (Source: CNN.com)
Debatin’ (drink) with Sarah Palin (drink)!
f I were a drinkin’ girl and didn’t have a cr@pload of gradin’ to do tonight, I’d enforce a drinkin’ game for the VP Debate that involves takin’ a drink every time Sarah Palin disses the “g” on words endin’ in the “-ing” suffix.
Example: “Ya know, Joe, I’m beginnin’ (drink) to think you’re right about me missin’ (drink) some brain cells and havin’ (drink) a few screws loose, ’cause I can’t even tell ya one single book or magazine I’ve read since bein’ (drink) so blessed and privileged to’ve been elected mayor of the great town ‘a Wasilla, Alaska.”
Gun-totin' (drink) Palin (drink)!
If you wanna (drink) get REALLY crazy, you could take a drink every time she says “ya” or shortens any word into a slacked-off version of its correct usage. An’ (drink) if ya (drink) wanna (drink) go ahead ‘n (drink) try that game, the above quote would be lookin’ (drink) somethin’ (drink) like this:
Example: ”Ya (drink) know, Joe, I’m beginnin’ (drink) to think you’re right about me missin’ (drink) some brain cells and havin’ (drink) a few screws loose, ’cause (drink) I can’t even tell ya (drink) one single book or magazine I’ve read since bein’ (drink) so blessed and privileged to’ve (drink) been elected mayor of the great town ‘a (drink) Wasilla, Alaska.”
Ya (drink) know what? I’m actually beginnin’ (drink) to have doubts that her last name is really “Palin.” For all we know, it’s really PALING, and she’s just bein’ (drink) lazy.
Parental guidance is suggested. Except maybe if the parent’s an extremist.
ave you all heard the story about the 11-year-old Colorado boy who wore an anti-Obama t-shirt to school last week and got suspended? Yeah. So, I did a little Google searching and culled excerpts from several different articles/news outlets that treated the subject. Especially interesting is the unsurprising anti-liberal slant that the Colorado FoxNews affiliate took. Shocker. Also interesting is the information that different news sources chose to include. Associated Press articles tend to veer toward the general, get-to-the-freakin’-point type of journalism, for example, whereas some more local, less “big-business” papers included much more personal information about the boy, Daxx Dalton, and his family… particularly, the influence of Daxx’s father, Dan Dalton, who is a self-proclaimed “proud conservative” and told journalists that he’s “full of all kinds of anti-Obama cliches” and, therefore, helped Daxx with a slogan that “he could easily capsulate it on a T-shirt” (Rocky Mountain News, 9/24/08). Interesting. Oh, and if you’re wondering what the provocative slogan was, here you go:
Yeesh. So, here’s the full extent of today’s Associated Press release on the story:
School denies free-speech motive in Obama ‘terrorist’ T-shirt suspension
AURORA, CO — Aurora school officials say they suspended an 11-year-old last week because the anti-Obama slogan on his T-shirt was causing a disruption, and not because of the slogan itself.
Daxx Dalton wore a hand-lettered shirt to Frontier School that read “Obama — A terrorist’s best friend.” He was suspended for three days when he refused to turn the shirt inside-out or wear a different one.
Daxx and his father, Dann Dalton, say his First Amendment rights were violated.
Aurora Superintendent of Schools John Barry denied that Tuesday. He says Daxx was disciplined because the shirt was causing some shouting and yelling.
Barry says Daxx’s sister wore a shirt that had the word “Obama” with a bar through it and a pro-McCain slogan, and she wasn’t suspended. (Source: Daily Camera, 9/24/08)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short, to the point, focuses on the administration’s motivation for suspending Daxx, acknowledging that they DID allow other anti-Obama shirts (uh, Daxx’s sister was wearing), yada yada. Great.
Now, let’s check out what the FoxNews affiliate has to tell us that’s new and different and Foxy-with-moxie:
5th Grader Suspended For Anti-Obama Shirt
AURORA (MyFOXColorado.com) – An 11-year-old in Aurora says his first amendment rights are being trampled after he was suspended for wearing a homemade shirt that reads “Obama is a terrorist’s best friend.”
The fifth grader at Aurora Frontier K-8 School wore it on a day when students were asked to wear red, white and blue to show their patriotism.
The boy’s father Dann Dalton describes himself as a “proud conservative” who has taken part in some controversial anti-abortion protests. Dalton says the school made a major mistake by suspending his son for wearing the shirt.
“It’s the public school system,” Dalton says. “Let’s be honest, it’s full of liberal loons.”
According the the boy’s father, the school district told the student, Daxx Dalton, that he had the choice of changing his shirt, turning his shirt inside out or being suspended.
Daxx chose suspension.
“They’re taking away my right of freedom of speech,” he says. “If I have the right to wear this shirt I’m going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I’m going to get suspended.”
Daxx’s dad agrees with him and is encouraging his son to stand his ground. “The facts are his rights were violated. Period.”
Aurora Public Schools would not talk about the case but said the district “Respects a student’s right to free speech, such as the right to wear specific clothing,” but administrators say they review any situation that interrupts the learning environment.
Paperwork submitted by the school district says Daxx Dalton was not suspended for wearing the shirt, but for willful disobedience and defiance.
The boy’s father says he intends to pursue a lawsuit against the district. (Source: FoxNews, 9/23/08)
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Liberal loons!!!! That’s totally my favorite part. It deserved more than just the typical bolding, but… I didn’t want to mess too much with the flow of this very serious pog. (pfffffffffff) Anyway, that’s a photo of a loon up above. But it’s facing right rather than left… so I think it’s conservative rather than liberal. Crap.
OK, now let’s get a little more detail on the subject. How did the “disruption” begin? How severe was it? TELL ME MORE, DALTON DUDE!!!
Aurora school defends censure of student’s T-shirt
Aurora officials say disruption, not politics, keyAURORA, Colo. – Aurora, Colo. school officials said that it was the disruption that an 11-year-old’s anti-Barack Obama T-shirt sparked – not its political content – that got him suspended from school last week. (PauvrePlume comment: what up with the freakin’ hyphenophilia?!)
But the boy and his father, who designed a shirt that read “Obama — A terrorist’s best friend,” said the youngster’s free-speech rights were violated when Aurora school officials suspended him for three days. The father said he’s considering a lawsuit.
Daxx Dalton was sent home from his sixth-grade classes at Aurora’s Frontier School after he refused to either turn the shirt inside out or wear another shirt. The student and his dad, Dann Dalton, contend school officials would not have disciplined the youngster if the T-shirt had skewered Obama’s opponent, Republican John McCain. (PP: the word “skewer” makes me want a hotdog.)
“If I said ‘McCain is a terrorist’s best friend’ it wouldn’t have gotten me into trouble,” the boy said outside the school Tuesday afternoon as he and his father waited to pick up his 10-year-old sister.
However, Aurora Superintendent of Schools John Barry said the sister also donned an anti-Obama T-shirt that she was allowed to wear because she caused no disruption during her classes. Her shirt had the word Obama with a bar through it and a pro-McCain slogan on the back.
“This student was not suspended because of a shirt,” Barry said of the boy. “He was suspended because of an issue of disruption.” Barry said Aurora students wear hundreds of shirt designs, including some with political slogans, without any incident. However, that was not the case with Daxx Dalton’s shirt.
“It was a problem when it started being disruptive,” said Barry, who was at the school that day. “A number of kids came to a number of teachers expressing that they were upset. There was shouting and yelling.” The turmoil spilled over from the school yard to a math class, he said. ”When you have a math class, obviously you don’t have political science debates,” he said.
Barry said students may have also been sensitive to the word “terrorist” on that day, coming a week after the seventh anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
The school’s dress code prohibits dress or appearance that “cause or are likely to cause a material and substantial disruption to the educational process or school-related activities.” (PP: Please define “material disruption.” Like, if the material self-combusts or a moth flies into it and gnaws a hole in the pit or something? gross.)
Dalton was suspended Thursday after wearing the red, white and blue-decorated T-shirt on a day when students were encouraged to wear the patriotic colors in honor of a Vietnam-era military veteran who won the Medal of Honor. First Lieutenant Brian Thacker with the U.S. Army made stops at Aurora Frontier K-8 and Gateway High School.
Daxx Dalton said his father had the idea for the shirt and did most of the design. (PP: giving new meaning to “PG”) The father, who calls himself a “proud conservative,” said: “I’m full of all kinds of anti-Obama cliches” and acknowledged helping his son with a slogan so “he could easily capsulate it on a T-shirt.”
Daxx Dalton said the anti-Obama slam was popular with his “Republican” buddies, who gave him a high-five and said: “sweet, dude.” (PP: what, “way to go mother-f*cker” isn’t a part of their repertoire?)
But the younger Dalton also said an African-American classmate shouted that he was a racist on the playground. ”He said: ‘You just don’t want a black president,”‘ Dalton recounted. ”I agreed with that because that would be the only thing that made him shut up,” Dalton said. “But I’m not racist. Yeah, it was a disruptive in the school, but not enough to get suspended,” the boy added.
A New York civil liberties lawyer said the U.S. Supreme Court has held that a student can be suspended only if the message on his clothing or his conduct “could cause a risk of material disruption at the school. Students have a constitutional right to express their opinions about politics, and this T-shirt was not vulgar or anything other than a political statement,” said E. Christopher Murray, who had handled several student free speech cases.
Dann Dalton is no newcomer to free-speech controversies. The father took his two children in a stroller to a 2000 anti-abortion protest outside the Arapahoe County home of a doctor who provided abortions, according to a Rocky Mountain News story.
Neighbors in the normally quiet cul-de-sac at the time complained about weekly protests with abortion foes waving signs declaring “Don’t Kill Kids” and calling the doctor “murderer.”
Arapahoe County commissioners passed a law limiting demonstrations in residential neighborhoods – requiring protesters to keep moving and restricting the size of their signs.
Dann Dalton said the restrictions had only boosted the protest crowd. (PP: what’s with all the double final consonants? I wonder if Daxx’s sister’s name is Debb or Dill or Dumm or something. Ok, that was mean, I apologize — these Dalton kids are innocent. The father… that’s another story. If only you could suspend the father.)
“Hopefully we’ll have Greyhound bus tours through the area before long,” he said at the time. (PP: oh cool, they can wave to the Greyhound going to Jon-Benet Ramsay’s parents’ place!) (Source: Rocky Mountain News, 9/24/08)
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So, there you go. A few different takes/informational tidbits on the great big political t-shirt censorship debacle of the 2008 campaign.
Hey, if nothing else, at least adults can’t yell at kids for not giving a sh*t and/or being involved in politics. (do you like how I kind of distance myself from that scary term “adults”?)
Comments or anything? Bring it.
