Wacky Wednesday.
etween Cello Scrotum and 3-D porn, I am left befuddled yet highly entertained by the news snippets I’ve received today. And extremely grateful that there’s no 3-D Cello Scrotum.
Anyway, here are some prime excerpts from the story at The Times online regarding the Big Cello Scrotum Scandal (BCSS) of 2009:
What about female cellists, huh?! (Image: easyart.co.uk)
Until this week, cellists worldwide had reason to fear a terrible malady. Worse than fiddler’s neck, flautist’s chin or even the dreaded guitarist’s nipple was the condition known as “cello scrotum.” The condition was named in the British Medical Journal, and thereafter in an array of reviews of musician’s aches and pains.
Nearly all such reviews referred to a letter to the journal in 1974 from John Murphy, husband of Dr. Elaine Murphy, who noted that he had once come across a case of cello scrotum. But Dr. Elaine Murphy, now Baroness Murphy, has now admitted that the letter she drafted with her husband was a hoax, a practical joke that the couple have been “dining out on” ever since.
So, first of all, I’d never heard of “guitarist’s nipple,” either (am I alone with this?), which sounds incredibly unpleasant. I instantly picture a sort of nipple “tuner”… that must be tightened… ouch. Anyway, apparently musician-ing (?) proves detrimental to one’s health. And to one’s erogenous zones. Even the British Medical Journal said so!
I definitely wasn’t made aware of this information when I played percussion in fifth through ninth grades. Shouldn’t there at least have been a permission slip for my parents to sign or something? But no, unsuspecting, innocent band members were left to fend for themselves against the infliction of, oh I don’t know, Timpani Crotch or something.
On that (very discordant) note, let’s continue with the article:
In a letter to the BMJ, prompted by yet another reference to the ailment in the journal last month, the couple wrote: “Perhaps after 34 years it’s time for us to confess that we invented cello scrotum.”
Their letter of 1974 was in response to a missive from a Dr. Curtis regarding a skin irritation that he had seen among classical guitarists. After many hours with the instrument pressed against their chests, the musicians had developed guitarist’s nipple.
“We thought it highly likely to be a spoof and decided to go one further by submitting a letter pretending to have noted a similar phenomenon in cellists, signed by the non-doctor one of us,” the couple wrote. “Somewhat to our astonishment, the letter was published.”
I guess the British Medical Journal doesn’t follow up on physicians’ claims? I wonder if any (doctored) photo documentation of guitarist’s nipple or cello scrotum was sent along with the letters? For my part, I just did a Google Image search of “guitar nipple,” and the results revealed scary images that I’m pretty sure had nothing to do with guitars.
Oh, but here’s the best part of the Times article. In 1991, an American dermatologist and cellist by the name of Dr. Philip Shapiro questioned the legitimacy of cello scrotum in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology. Check out Shapiro’s words of wisdom:
“I wrote a letter to the editor saying the condition didn’t make sense. Being a cellist myself I knew that the cello comes nowhere near one’s scrotum. You would have to be doing something fairly extreme to get that by playing the cello,” he said.
He suggested that any such performance would not be tolerated in polite society. “Otherwise, given the angle of the cello, you would have to have pretty enormous bollocks,” he said.
But… wait a second. Does that mean there could be a condition called Cello Bollocks? Hmm. In any event, in closing, Shapiro offered a picture of himself playing the cello along with the following explanation:
“Just as people sometimes scratch their heads repetitively, some also scratch their genitals,” [Shapiro] said, “some of those people might also play the cello.”
So true. Hoaxes are so fun, though. Like that time when John McCain named Sarah Palin as his VP candidate! That was so hilarious! Good one, McCain — you totally got us!
Wait, what? Oh. Oops. Moving on…
And as if fake genital conditions weren’t enough, now we have to worry about fake genital “conditions” in 3-D, flailing sweatily at our heads! AHHHH!
Yeah, because porn stars aren’t scary enough in hi-def. Clearly. Pff. Umm, nice work 3-D techies, but I don’t really care to see mullet-man or chick-with-bruised-thighs three-dimensionally corkscrewing themselves together two millimeters from my line of vision. Or even two-dimensionally corkscrewing themselves together. Or even together AT ALL. But, in case you do, here’s what Wired online has to tell you:
Shooting will begin in April on what’s being billed as the world’s first 3-D erotic film, according to its producer.
Stephen Shiu Jr., chairman of One Dollar Production, says 3D Sex and Zen will push the envelope content-wise while helping thwart piracy.
“Just imagine that you’ll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed,” he told the South China Morning Post. “There will be many close-ups. It will look as if the actresses are only a few centimeters from the audience.”
The porn move is only natural as filmmakers like DreamWorks Animation’s Jeffrey Katzenberg hail new 3-D technology as Hollywood’s savior. DreamWorks is producing all its upcoming animated movies in 3-D, starting with Monsters vs. Aliens, which is set for a March 27 release.
3D Sex and Zen, with a reported budget of $3.9 million, is a sequel to 1991’s Sex and Zen, which was based loosely on 17th-century Chinese book The Carnal Prayer Mat by Li Yu.
It’s always the 17th-century Chinese mysticists that are so unfailingly hardcore. F*ck.
The election is coming…maybe I should suspend my blog.
eah, right.
But here are some funny/inspiring images regarding the election-in-less-than-a-week (!!!) that I just can’t seem to get enough of. And I just ended a sentence with a preposition. Cr@p. See what this election is doing to me?!?
UnitedChange, by Shawn Hazen
Rock the Vote, by Shepard Fairey
http://www.yeehawindustries.com
YesWeCarve.com (hee hee)
Decent Arab. Oxymoron?
t’s been all over the news already and referenced by political analysts and late night talk show hosts alike: at a recent campaign rally for the Republican Presidential nominee, a white-haired McPalinist woman by the name of Gayle Quinnell proclaimed, “He’s an Arab,” in reference to Democratic Presidential nominee, Barack Obama. McCain swiftly stole back the microphone and corrected Quinnell in an unmistakably flustered (and stuttered) fashion:“No, ma’am,” McCain stated. “He’s a decent family man –citizen– that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues. And that’s what this campaign is all about. He’s not. Thank you.” (You can watch the video of the exchange HERE)
Now, that’s all well and good, and there’s little doubt that McMuppet really did possess genuine, good intentions and truly does consider Obama a “decent family man –citizen,” but… umm… well… I suppose I just wasn’t aware that being a “decent family man –citizen” and being an Arab were mutually exclusive? I guess I’m just ill-informed.
But you know what else I found out, from one of my very dearest, most cherished friends, who just so happens to be an Arab? He was ill-informed, too!!!! He didn’t know that “decent Arab” was an oxymoron! We’re so naive and sheltered. I guess we’ve been studying at the wrong university. And I guess my friend grew up in a pseudo-Arab culture or something. Sucks to be us. I wonder if Gayle Quinnell offers online courses in cultural awareness? I’ll have to look into it.
Anyway, it’s just completely frustrating and infuriating to witness such a blatant lack of regard for any individual (let alone an entire ethnic group) that does not subscribe to the stereotypically WASPy notions of “decency.”
Fortunately, we have CNN journalist Campbell Brown (host of CNN’s “Campbell Brown: Election Center”), who did not shrink back from addressing the ignorance (and racism) and the hatred fueled by such careless comments as the one uttered by McCain at his rally, nor did she mince words when acknowledging the media’s guilt as well. Brown states:
Now, I commend Sen. McCain for correcting that woman, for setting the record straight. But I do have one question — so what if he was? So what if Obama was Arab or Muslim? So what if John McCain was Arab or Muslim? Would it matter?
When did that become a disqualifier for higher office in our country? When did Arab and Muslim become dirty words? The equivalent of dishonorable or radical? Whenever this gets raised, the implication is that there is something wrong with being an Arab-American or a Muslim. And the media is complicit here, too.
We’ve all been too quick to accept the idea that calling someone Muslim is a slur.
I feel like I am stating the obvious here, but apparently it needs to be said: There is a difference between radical Muslims who support jihad against America and Muslims who want to practice their religion freely and have normal lives like anyone else.
We can’t tolerate this ignorance — not in the media, not on the campaign trail.
Of course, he’s not an Arab. Of course, he’s not a Muslim. But honestly, it shouldn’t matter. (Source: CNN.com)
Now that’s just inappropriate…
think I’ve already mentioned somewhere on here that my sister’s pregnant with twins (one boy, one girl!)… those little monkeys will be comin’ ’round the mountain in the next couple of months, and I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I CAN’T FREAKIN’ WAIT!!!!!!!!!! I‘ve always wanted to be an aunt, almost as much as I’ve always wanted to be a parent. Or maybe more, because an aunt doesn’t really need to take charge of the whole discipline thing. Or the whole buying diapers thing. But I will definitely be partaking in the whole buying cute baby/kid clothes thing! Oh, yeah. Make no mistake about it, my friends…! (<-McCainism)
But here’s the thing: there are some scary-@ss baby fashion disasters waiting to happen out there. Now, if you’ve ever even winked at my blog, you know that I’m not exactly a conservative. That being said, a line has to be drawn somewhere when it comes to the images we are projecting onto the future of this world (*cue Whitney Houston, because the children are her future, too). I would never be able to live with myself, or take my niece & nephew out in public, if they were clothed in any of the onesies and bibs that I am about to present to you.
Without further ado, I offer you today’s
INAPPROPRIATE BABY ATTIRE
(maybe I’ll even make it a weekly thing, because trust me, there are a gazillion more where these came from):
(These lovely little gems *gag* are all courtesy of CafePress.com)
Palin Poetics
ello, everyone. It’s been a week now since I’ve been blog-less. It was totally freakin’ rough. I’m not sure how I survived. In fact, I almost didn’t. Picture a very tiny, shredded thread, and some unmanicured fingernails clenched and hanging by it. Yeah, that was me. Or, I guess I should say “that was I.” Might as well be grammatically correct while professing my near-death experience.
In any event, now my unmanicured fingers are back on my iMac, typin’ to the oldies. Wellness is restored in my world.
So, of course, my first post back in “well world” is Palin-related. I’ve missed ripping on her too much. So I just have to. And then I’ll stray and post some other non-Palin stuff, I promise. But for now… let’s enjoy some Palin Poetics, shall we?
From the lovely Slate.com, a few of my favorite Palinisms, in verse:
1. “Befoulers of the Verbiage”
It was an unfair attack on the verbiage
That Senator McCain chose to use,
Because the fundamentals,
As he was having to explain afterwards,
He means our workforce.
He means the ingenuity of the American.
And of course that is strong,
And that is the foundation of our economy.
So that was an unfair attack there,
Again based on verbiage.
(To S. Hannity, Fox News, Sept. 18, 2008)
2. “On Good and Evil”
It is obvious to me
Who the good guys are in this one
And who the bad guys are.
The bad guys are the ones
Who say Israel is a stinking corpse,
And should be wiped off
The face of the earth.
That’s not a good guy.
(To K. Couric, CBS News, Sept. 25, 2008)
3. “Haiku”
These corporations.
Today it was AIG,
Important call, there.
(To S. Hannity, Fox News, Sept. 18, 2008)
4. “Small Mayors”
You know,
Small mayors,
Mayors of small towns—
Quote, unquote—
They’re on the front lines.
(To S. Hannity, Fox News, Sept. 19, 2008)
Debatin’ (drink) with Sarah Palin (drink)!
f I were a drinkin’ girl and didn’t have a cr@pload of gradin’ to do tonight, I’d enforce a drinkin’ game for the VP Debate that involves takin’ a drink every time Sarah Palin disses the “g” on words endin’ in the “-ing” suffix.
Example: “Ya know, Joe, I’m beginnin’ (drink) to think you’re right about me missin’ (drink) some brain cells and havin’ (drink) a few screws loose, ’cause I can’t even tell ya one single book or magazine I’ve read since bein’ (drink) so blessed and privileged to’ve been elected mayor of the great town ‘a Wasilla, Alaska.”
Gun-totin' (drink) Palin (drink)!
If you wanna (drink) get REALLY crazy, you could take a drink every time she says “ya” or shortens any word into a slacked-off version of its correct usage. An’ (drink) if ya (drink) wanna (drink) go ahead ‘n (drink) try that game, the above quote would be lookin’ (drink) somethin’ (drink) like this:
Example: ”Ya (drink) know, Joe, I’m beginnin’ (drink) to think you’re right about me missin’ (drink) some brain cells and havin’ (drink) a few screws loose, ’cause (drink) I can’t even tell ya (drink) one single book or magazine I’ve read since bein’ (drink) so blessed and privileged to’ve (drink) been elected mayor of the great town ‘a (drink) Wasilla, Alaska.”
Ya (drink) know what? I’m actually beginnin’ (drink) to have doubts that her last name is really “Palin.” For all we know, it’s really PALING, and she’s just bein’ (drink) lazy.
All hail the King! (aka, CNN-Addicts Anonymous)
y name is PauvrePlume, and I’m addicted to CNN. True story. I’ve actually heard (via my radio addiction, NPR) that there is a type of disorder/addiction that runs rampant during high-profile political seasons, whereby unsuspecting victims find themselves perched for hours (nay, DAYS) in front of the TV, hoping to get their politics fix, drool pooling around them, soaking into the couch cushion, leaving a dry trail of skin around their mouths. Yeah, it ain’t pretty. And that’s me. I’m the resident dry-skinned drool maven. Hey, I could do a lot worse, right? Right.
Besides, it’s not my fault. It’s my grandma’s fault. I stayed with her during spring break 2008, which just so happened to coincide with the Eliot Spitzer/call-girl controversy and the Democratic primary season. My pop-culture-plus-political-fascination naturally kicked into overdrive, but when you add my ridiculously cute, 90-year-old Gram to the mix — who just so happens to partake in a 24/7 CNN fiesta while also still finding the time to mow her own lawn – you might as well just strap me down with Larry King’s suspenders and shove John King’s super hi-tech, multi-touch collaboration wall down my throat.
Speaking of Lare-Bear… could someone please tell me why no one at CNN checks that dude before he goes on the air?!? I’m not being mean, I swear. I have Larry’s best interest at heart. In fact, I feel bad for the senile sap because he clearly inhabits some type of parallel universe in which royal blue oxfords, turquoise blue suspenders, and orange-red striped ties seem like a good idea. It’s not just the suspenders. I’m actually kind of a fan of suspenders. They’re fun. Strappy and fun. I always imagine that they could become loose and pull free at any second, flail around and ultimately smack somebody in the cheek. Now, come on: that would be AWESOME, right?! Right. Anyway, poor Larry needs some freakin’ help, that’s all I’m saying. I love when he has “up-’n-comers” on his show, and it’s so obvious that he just looked at the index card, like, 5 minutes before he went on the air, so he pronounces names wrong, effs up show titles and biographical info… I freakin’ LOVE when that happens.
But, I mean, who can bash him, you know? It’s freakin’ LARRY KING!!!!! The suspenderized fossil has hosted his own successful talk show for an incomprehensible 23 years, for crying out loud. His success flies in the face of his public arrest for grand larceny in the ’70s, a heart attack and quintuple-bypass surgery in 1987, seven marriages and six divorces… Somehow, King managed to meet and marry Shawn Southwick, a woman 26 years his junior (Larry is 74, Shawn is 48) and with whom he has had two children, aged eight and nine. The dude doesn’t quit, apparently. I just think it would be cool if he didn’t quit while NOT wearing an unspeakably heinous suspender/tie/oxford ensemble, that’s all.
So, it’s no secret that a ton of people love to tune into CNN because of a certain handsome and witty, prematurely grey anchor who just so happens to be Gloria Vanderbilt’s son. Anderson Cooper is truly enjoyable, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been a huge fan ever since he zoomed his journalistic way into my high school TV sets via Channel One in the 1990s.
But my CNN crush is another handsome, witty, prematurely grey anchor. But, not just any anchor. Oh no. John King happens to be CNN’s Chief National Correspondent, thank you very much. And he’s d@@@@@@mn good at it. Not only does he NOT wear obnoxious suspender/tie/oxford ensembles, but he also possesses some mad multi-touch skillz and impeccable analyses of political strategies and f*ck-ups. John King, I choose to ignore the fact that you foolishly married your CNN colleague, Dana Bash, earlier this year. Minor detail. I will not let this stand in the way of my daily JK appreciation. Especially because CNN stuck her with tracking the McCain Campaign this election season. I can only imagine that your wife is being infested by McPalinisms on an hourly basis and, therefore, it is best that you spend as much time away from her as possible. Which will help me to delude myself into thinking that you two are not together AT ALL. And which re-confirms the fact that your marriage to Ms. Bashketcase is completely inconsequential.
In a similar vein, I refuse to allow any alleged “John King Lovers” to diminish my adoration for you — or for your Magic Wall. 
You are about to enter one of the most highly charged and significant times of your — and your Magic Wall’s — life: Election 2008. You will be tired. Your neatly-tied tie will begin to crookedize itself. Your multi-touching fingers will become crampy and weary. But you will persevere, JK. Oh, yes, you will persevere, as only a strong-willed, determined Chief National Correspondent can. And I will be there for you, JK, every step of the way.
Now, apparently I am not your only admirer. I mean, besides me and, you know, your wife. Apparently there are others. Please don’t misunderstand: I am extremely grateful that the world is catching on to your brilliance and journalistic magnetism. I am. I swear.
Still, you must understand that it is always difficult to share something one admires so much. So, while I praise a site such as “John the News King,” I must admit that I am a bit saddened to learn that you do not exist solely for me. Oh, and your wife. And for me.
(*Note: I mean this pog in the least creepy way possible and pinky-swear that I am not a stalker. Though I really would like to get my paws on that Magic Wall…)
Premature Ejac—Declaration.
mm, somebody jumped the gun. And, despite what you may think, that gun-jumper is not Sarah Palin; it’s her geriatric cohort, my friends. It’s John McCain and his campaign cronies, my friends. And it only makes McCain look even more senile, my friends.
Check it out: this morning’s online edition of The Wall Street Journal looked a little something like this:
Anybody notice a problem? Umm… a problem surrounding a certain Presidential Candidate, my friends? Uh-huh, there you go. Apparently, McCain and his cronies have morphed into clairvoyants without our knowledge,
and they’ve concluded that Mr. Anheuser-Busch has won the first Presidential Debate… which is to be held tonight… in Oxford, MS… at 9pm EST. In other words: it hasn’t happened yet. So, unless the McCain camp maintains a direct line to Miss Cleo, this ad was a big “OOPSIE” in the land of campaign advertising.
Hmm, I can’t help but wonder if the McCain peeps have also prepared a “MCCAIN LOSES!” ad? You know, just in case his psychic friends were wrong.
I can’t wait for this debate… my friends.
Parental guidance is suggested. Except maybe if the parent’s an extremist.
ave you all heard the story about the 11-year-old Colorado boy who wore an anti-Obama t-shirt to school last week and got suspended? Yeah. So, I did a little Google searching and culled excerpts from several different articles/news outlets that treated the subject. Especially interesting is the unsurprising anti-liberal slant that the Colorado FoxNews affiliate took. Shocker. Also interesting is the information that different news sources chose to include. Associated Press articles tend to veer toward the general, get-to-the-freakin’-point type of journalism, for example, whereas some more local, less “big-business” papers included much more personal information about the boy, Daxx Dalton, and his family… particularly, the influence of Daxx’s father, Dan Dalton, who is a self-proclaimed “proud conservative” and told journalists that he’s “full of all kinds of anti-Obama cliches” and, therefore, helped Daxx with a slogan that “he could easily capsulate it on a T-shirt” (Rocky Mountain News, 9/24/08). Interesting. Oh, and if you’re wondering what the provocative slogan was, here you go:
Yeesh. So, here’s the full extent of today’s Associated Press release on the story:
School denies free-speech motive in Obama ‘terrorist’ T-shirt suspension
AURORA, CO — Aurora school officials say they suspended an 11-year-old last week because the anti-Obama slogan on his T-shirt was causing a disruption, and not because of the slogan itself.
Daxx Dalton wore a hand-lettered shirt to Frontier School that read “Obama — A terrorist’s best friend.” He was suspended for three days when he refused to turn the shirt inside-out or wear a different one.
Daxx and his father, Dann Dalton, say his First Amendment rights were violated.
Aurora Superintendent of Schools John Barry denied that Tuesday. He says Daxx was disciplined because the shirt was causing some shouting and yelling.
Barry says Daxx’s sister wore a shirt that had the word “Obama” with a bar through it and a pro-McCain slogan, and she wasn’t suspended. (Source: Daily Camera, 9/24/08)
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Short, to the point, focuses on the administration’s motivation for suspending Daxx, acknowledging that they DID allow other anti-Obama shirts (uh, Daxx’s sister was wearing), yada yada. Great.
Now, let’s check out what the FoxNews affiliate has to tell us that’s new and different and Foxy-with-moxie:
5th Grader Suspended For Anti-Obama Shirt
AURORA (MyFOXColorado.com) – An 11-year-old in Aurora says his first amendment rights are being trampled after he was suspended for wearing a homemade shirt that reads “Obama is a terrorist’s best friend.”
The fifth grader at Aurora Frontier K-8 School wore it on a day when students were asked to wear red, white and blue to show their patriotism.
The boy’s father Dann Dalton describes himself as a “proud conservative” who has taken part in some controversial anti-abortion protests. Dalton says the school made a major mistake by suspending his son for wearing the shirt.
“It’s the public school system,” Dalton says. “Let’s be honest, it’s full of liberal loons.”
According the the boy’s father, the school district told the student, Daxx Dalton, that he had the choice of changing his shirt, turning his shirt inside out or being suspended.
Daxx chose suspension.
“They’re taking away my right of freedom of speech,” he says. “If I have the right to wear this shirt I’m going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I’m going to get suspended.”
Daxx’s dad agrees with him and is encouraging his son to stand his ground. “The facts are his rights were violated. Period.”
Aurora Public Schools would not talk about the case but said the district “Respects a student’s right to free speech, such as the right to wear specific clothing,” but administrators say they review any situation that interrupts the learning environment.
Paperwork submitted by the school district says Daxx Dalton was not suspended for wearing the shirt, but for willful disobedience and defiance.
The boy’s father says he intends to pursue a lawsuit against the district. (Source: FoxNews, 9/23/08)
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Liberal loons!!!! That’s totally my favorite part. It deserved more than just the typical bolding, but… I didn’t want to mess too much with the flow of this very serious pog. (pfffffffffff) Anyway, that’s a photo of a loon up above. But it’s facing right rather than left… so I think it’s conservative rather than liberal. Crap.
OK, now let’s get a little more detail on the subject. How did the “disruption” begin? How severe was it? TELL ME MORE, DALTON DUDE!!!
Aurora school defends censure of student’s T-shirt
Aurora officials say disruption, not politics, keyAURORA, Colo. – Aurora, Colo. school officials said that it was the disruption that an 11-year-old’s anti-Barack Obama T-shirt sparked – not its political content – that got him suspended from school last week. (PauvrePlume comment: what up with the freakin’ hyphenophilia?!)
But the boy and his father, who designed a shirt that read “Obama — A terrorist’s best friend,” said the youngster’s free-speech rights were violated when Aurora school officials suspended him for three days. The father said he’s considering a lawsuit.
Daxx Dalton was sent home from his sixth-grade classes at Aurora’s Frontier School after he refused to either turn the shirt inside out or wear another shirt. The student and his dad, Dann Dalton, contend school officials would not have disciplined the youngster if the T-shirt had skewered Obama’s opponent, Republican John McCain. (PP: the word “skewer” makes me want a hotdog.)
“If I said ‘McCain is a terrorist’s best friend’ it wouldn’t have gotten me into trouble,” the boy said outside the school Tuesday afternoon as he and his father waited to pick up his 10-year-old sister.
However, Aurora Superintendent of Schools John Barry said the sister also donned an anti-Obama T-shirt that she was allowed to wear because she caused no disruption during her classes. Her shirt had the word Obama with a bar through it and a pro-McCain slogan on the back.
“This student was not suspended because of a shirt,” Barry said of the boy. “He was suspended because of an issue of disruption.” Barry said Aurora students wear hundreds of shirt designs, including some with political slogans, without any incident. However, that was not the case with Daxx Dalton’s shirt.
“It was a problem when it started being disruptive,” said Barry, who was at the school that day. “A number of kids came to a number of teachers expressing that they were upset. There was shouting and yelling.” The turmoil spilled over from the school yard to a math class, he said. ”When you have a math class, obviously you don’t have political science debates,” he said.
Barry said students may have also been sensitive to the word “terrorist” on that day, coming a week after the seventh anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
The school’s dress code prohibits dress or appearance that “cause or are likely to cause a material and substantial disruption to the educational process or school-related activities.” (PP: Please define “material disruption.” Like, if the material self-combusts or a moth flies into it and gnaws a hole in the pit or something? gross.)
Dalton was suspended Thursday after wearing the red, white and blue-decorated T-shirt on a day when students were encouraged to wear the patriotic colors in honor of a Vietnam-era military veteran who won the Medal of Honor. First Lieutenant Brian Thacker with the U.S. Army made stops at Aurora Frontier K-8 and Gateway High School.
Daxx Dalton said his father had the idea for the shirt and did most of the design. (PP: giving new meaning to “PG”) The father, who calls himself a “proud conservative,” said: “I’m full of all kinds of anti-Obama cliches” and acknowledged helping his son with a slogan so “he could easily capsulate it on a T-shirt.”
Daxx Dalton said the anti-Obama slam was popular with his “Republican” buddies, who gave him a high-five and said: “sweet, dude.” (PP: what, “way to go mother-f*cker” isn’t a part of their repertoire?)
But the younger Dalton also said an African-American classmate shouted that he was a racist on the playground. ”He said: ‘You just don’t want a black president,”‘ Dalton recounted. ”I agreed with that because that would be the only thing that made him shut up,” Dalton said. “But I’m not racist. Yeah, it was a disruptive in the school, but not enough to get suspended,” the boy added.
A New York civil liberties lawyer said the U.S. Supreme Court has held that a student can be suspended only if the message on his clothing or his conduct “could cause a risk of material disruption at the school. Students have a constitutional right to express their opinions about politics, and this T-shirt was not vulgar or anything other than a political statement,” said E. Christopher Murray, who had handled several student free speech cases.
Dann Dalton is no newcomer to free-speech controversies. The father took his two children in a stroller to a 2000 anti-abortion protest outside the Arapahoe County home of a doctor who provided abortions, according to a Rocky Mountain News story.
Neighbors in the normally quiet cul-de-sac at the time complained about weekly protests with abortion foes waving signs declaring “Don’t Kill Kids” and calling the doctor “murderer.”
Arapahoe County commissioners passed a law limiting demonstrations in residential neighborhoods – requiring protesters to keep moving and restricting the size of their signs.
Dann Dalton said the restrictions had only boosted the protest crowd. (PP: what’s with all the double final consonants? I wonder if Daxx’s sister’s name is Debb or Dill or Dumm or something. Ok, that was mean, I apologize — these Dalton kids are innocent. The father… that’s another story. If only you could suspend the father.)
“Hopefully we’ll have Greyhound bus tours through the area before long,” he said at the time. (PP: oh cool, they can wave to the Greyhound going to Jon-Benet Ramsay’s parents’ place!) (Source: Rocky Mountain News, 9/24/08)
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So, there you go. A few different takes/informational tidbits on the great big political t-shirt censorship debacle of the 2008 campaign.
Hey, if nothing else, at least adults can’t yell at kids for not giving a sh*t and/or being involved in politics. (do you like how I kind of distance myself from that scary term “adults”?)
Comments or anything? Bring it.
White Privilege & the 2008 Election
y sister forwarded me a brilliant Op-Ed piece today by Tim Wise. An essayist, speaker, and activist, Wise has several publications, including White Like Me (2005) and Speaking Treason Fluently (2008), both published by Soft Skull Press. In addition to his own website, Wise also maintains his own blog on RedRoom.com, which you can access HERE.
In the “Bio” section of his blog, you will discover that “Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S., and has been called, ‘One of the most brilliant, articulate and courageous critics of white privilege in the nation,’ by best-selling author and professor Michael Eric Dyson, of Georgetown University. Wise has spoken in 48 states, and on over 400 college campuses, including Harvard, Stanford, and the Law Schools at Yale and Columbia, and has spoken to community groups around the nation.” So, there you go. I hope that’s a sufficient intro for you. So, without further ado, I give you Wise’s wonderful, in-your-face essay, published on his blog on September 13, 2008:
THIS IS YOUR NATION ON WHITE PRIVILEGE
By Tim WiseFor those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.
White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.
White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you’ll “kick their fuckin’ ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.
White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.
White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”
White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office–since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s–while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.
White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.
White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you’re black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.
White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do–like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor–and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college–you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.
White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”
White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.
Tim Wise (http://www.nebraskansunited.org)
White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.
White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.
White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a “light” burden.
And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…
White privilege is, in short, the problem.
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