Unintentionally creepy pumpkins.
ach year around the first week of October, the local grocery stores start stocking up on their pumpkin inventory. I’m sure I’m not relaying any top-secret information here. I’m sure it happens near you, too. There are some choice, stellarly globular pumpkins to choose from with perfectly positioned “handle” stems, and I’m generally pretty impressed by the selection. Until I cock my head about 45 degrees and notice the Good Pumpkins’ bastard step-children (no offense) on the neighboring crate. And they scare the living SH*T out of me. And not in the appropriately ghoulish Halloweeny way, either.
I’m not sure who paints these pumpkins, but I’m pretty d@mn sure they should be served a restraining order from the entire child population. Hugely bulbous eyes, buck teeth ready to chomp, often some oddly colored tennis-ball-sized noses and freakishly shapened eyebrows… Pumpkins are meant to be carved, not to be painted. I mean… trick-or-treating occurs at night. It’s generally dark at night. Ergo, no one will see your freakshow pumpkin anyway (thank dog). But during the day… why should you induce nightmares in such a way?? It’s highly inconsiderate and cruel.
That being said, there are some acceptable ways to paint pumpkins. Most of them require a significant amount of artistic talent, un/fortunately, which just goes back to the fact that: pumpkins are meant to be carved, not to be painted.
Here’s why…
Cool painted pumpkins:
Source: http://bit.ly/ATNSY
Nightmare-inducing painted pumpkins:
Source: http://bit.ly/3cbc91
Cool Nightmare Before Christmas-inspired painted pumpkin:
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rivernaiad/2993504572/
Creepily smiling pumpkin that has no business being near our neighborhood children:
Source: http://bit.ly/zmvbx
Awesomely crafted and painted (to an insanely perfect degree) Yo Gabba Gabba pumpkins:
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pairadocs/2985953954/
Terrifying pumpkins that I can only assume are alcoholics due to their bulbous noses:
Source: http://bit.ly/LjCcZ
Those pumpkins are so cool! I love the first pic – with the spider and beetle! I’m totally inspired to go do my pumpkins now!!
Thanks for visiting and commenting! Glad you like the pumpkins… but please promise me (whether you lie or not) that you won’t paint a scary buck-teeth face???
The big nosed ones were always freaky. I’m thinking I might try my artistic talent with a black and white one…
Oh, goodness no… I’m drawn to the white paint with the creepy bugs, or Nightmare Jack, on them
If I’m doing a pumpkin, I’m going for creepy-eerie scary, not creepy-clown put me in a mental ward scary. I have issue with bad teeth on humans… I promise you, I would not paint buck-teeth on a pumpkin!
The ones with the funny faces are the best
Okay, I loved this particular pog. I’m imagining you using it as the foundation for a series of Halloweeny stories that you can then organize into a Sedaris-esque version of Holidays on Ice.